biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

i had a barbie collection. a dozen barbies, with cool costumes and gimmicks (one could yo-yo. she could yo-yo. reflect on that). in comparison, i had one (1) ken doll. barbies were valuable merchandise and when my parents let me get one, no way was i wasting it on a boring ass ken. (i grabbed him from clearance. he wore swim trunks.)

Now the point of dolls is to act out stories. my stories had everything you would expect from a kid–drama, romance, magic, apocalyptic adult situations, necromancy, happy family play time, etc. With a 12:1 female-to-male doll ratio, most of the storylines naturally ended up being between women. 

It didn’t end there. eventually I acquired a toddler doll, and tiny twin babies. i decided barbie needed a co-parent to raise her burgeoning family. naturally, i chose my favorite doll, the cute redhead with pigtails*. 

and that’s the accidentally incredibly lesbian story of how barbie dolls led my 9 yo self to deeply emotionally invest in the imagined domestic adventures of two stylish wlw lovingly raising their 3 children.

*i now realize, i have a thing for pretty redheads with freckles, and it started young. 

**the cute redhead was indeed the one who yo-yoed

postmodernbot

“accidentally incredibly lesbian” is one of my favorite descriptions now